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Fix It Conversation

After a squabble, child names what happened, how the other felt, and one repair action, practising perspective-taking.

Cartoon illustration of a parent and child at home doing Fix It Conversation.
  • Age6 to 10 years
  • Time5 to 15 minutes
  • EnergyCalm
  • CostFree
  • WhereIndoors
  • PrepNone

A short calm conversation you have with your child after a squabble has cooled down, where they name what happened, think about how the other person felt, and pick one small way to make it better.

How to do it

  1. Wait until everyone is calm again, not in the heat of the moment, before starting.
  2. Sit with your child and ask them to tell you what happened in their own words, without you correcting the story.
  3. Gently ask how they think the other person felt, and offer a feeling word if they are stuck.
  4. Ask what is one small thing that might help make it better, and let the idea be theirs.
  5. Support them in doing that one thing if they choose to, and close the conversation warmly whatever they decide.

Make it yours

Younger, 5-6 years: Keep it to what happened and how the other felt; the repair can just be a kind word. Older, 8-10 years: Let them consider what they might do differently next time as well as a repair now. Siblings: If both children are willing, let each share their side while the other listens, once both are calm

Try this with your child.

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