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Calm

My Calm-Down Plan

Child designs their own written step-by-step plan for handling anger and practises it before it's needed.

Cartoon illustration of a parent and child at home doing My Calm-Down Plan.
  • Age6 to 10 years
  • Time15 to 30 minutes
  • EnergyCalm
  • CostFree
  • WhereIndoors
  • PrepNone

During a calm moment, you and your child make a small card together listing a few steps they can use when they feel angry, and practise it so it feels familiar before a hard moment arrives.

How to do it

  1. Choose a relaxed time to make this together, not during or right after a meltdown.
  2. Talk with your child about what helps them feel calmer, such as taking slow breaths, squeezing a cushion, or walking to a quiet spot.
  3. Let your child pick two or three steps they like and write or draw them on a card in their own order.
  4. Practise the steps together now while calm, walking through them like a gentle rehearsal.
  5. Put the card somewhere your child can reach it, and next time big feelings come, offer it as a choice rather than a command.

What you need

  • Card
  • Crayons

Make it yours

Younger, 5-6 years: Use pictures instead of words and keep it to two steps. Older, 8-10 years: Add a step for what to do after they feel calmer, such as coming back to sort things out. Siblings: Each child makes their own personal plan; these are not shared or compared.

Try this with your child.

Tell PLAI™ about your child and this moment. It shapes the activity to fit.

Try it in the app